Turkey Day

I cannot believe it is already Thanksgiving week. My mind is stuck in summer and my body has jumped ahead to its annual post-holiday winter weight. The last part is mainly due to a terrific "extended" summer of BBQs, beer, and finding something to celebrate every week. Current goal? Eat a light, yet satisfying meal on Thursday. Wish me luck.

This Thanksgiving will be spent at my parents with 12 other family members. My mom usually prepares the entire meal, but this year I kindly asked if we could have a side dish or two that was slightly healthier than her usual menu. If it's not soaking in butter or sugar, my mom doesn't find it worth eating. Mind you she's 122 pounds and clearly does not understand the restrictions of a slow metabolism or the concept of Weight Watchers (something that I have to follow to a T). While she won't give up her menu, she is letting me make three dishes. Cranberry sauce, mashed sweet potatoes, and a surprise dish. I tested Bourbon Pecan Sweet Potato Mash tonight and it was bland at best, so now I am on a desperate search for a good sweet potato recipe. My surprise recipe? Brussels Sprouts with Crisp Prosciutto. Don't hate. I tested these tonight as well and they are DELICIOUS. If anyone knows of a great sweet potato recipe, please share! My mom is already making the traditional yams, brown sugar, butter, and marshmallow casserole, so that's out.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to leave you with a few things I am thankful for:
1. Family
2. Having a job
3. Our Troops

Things I am not thankful for include co-workers clipping their fingernails at their desk (or on airplanes) and whoever it is that insists on heating up fish in the open kitchen area that is by my desk. Come on people, let's practice some common courtesy.

The End of an eHarmony Era

So, the countdown has begun . . . I officially have only four more days left on my eHarmony subscription before it expires. A large part of me says good riddance to this money sucking, hope-draining total letdown of a service. Let me provide you with some statistics: I have been an eHarmony subscriber since April or so. In that time, eHarmony has matched me with over 200 guys. Out of those 200 guys, I have met three of them, gone on four dates, and had one almost date with a weird guy who my intuition told me to call and cancel with.

Is the problem me? In many ways yes. I tend to agonize over small details like, why doesn't this guy understand the difference between 'to' and 'too'? and why is this guy afraid to upload a decent picture of himself?, which in turn leads me to either close the match or ignore his profile.

Of course, there are other things too that are not in anybody's control such as where a person lives. The truth is, you can both live in the Dallas area, but it still might take an hour to meet that person, depending on where they live. One hour is practically long-distance, and nobody is looking for that sort of relationship.

No, in the spirit of the "it's not my fault" mentality, I blame my failure on eHarmony itself. I used to think online dating was the most wonderful concept. If you think about it, with online dating, it is presumed that all others on the service are single, unlike at a bar (or a dog park, in my case) where you see a really hot guy, even talk to him, but he may have a GF and you are out of luck. A person is also free to assume that for a paying service such as eHarmony, and also for a service that markets itself on matching people based on their personality characteristics, that one is getting access to quality people who all have the same goal: to find someone they are compatible with, that they have chemistry with, and that they can see themselves with in the long term.

I was wrong. The concept itself is counter to the way humans are programmed to make connections. The fact is that having access to all of these single guys while being forced to form an initial impression based only on their profiles is nothing short of an impossibility masked as opportunity. You can't win that game. Since a person is unable to use normal senses of sight, sound, and feeling, they must therefore make a judgment about the other person based solely on the words and pictures that the person has provided. With all the time in the world to peruse profiles, evaluate the meaning and undertones of a description, and then finally conduct and respond to questions and emails with as much time as one wishes, of course, a person becomes picky and lazy at the same time.

The truth is that NOTHING can replace human contact as a first impression. I am quite certain that many of the guys whose profiles I chose to ignore or not email, I might have had a connection with in real life, but for whatever reason, due to their picture or the way they described themselves, I had to make an assumption about that person, whether wrong or right, that we were probably not compatible. When two people meet in real life, they converse and react based on visual and audio queues which help guide the conversation and prevent word vomit or TMI. However, sentences in a profile can easily be misinterpreted because there is no other way to understand the words on a computer other than to take them at face value.

It kills me that I paid for a service for which I had no return on investment. The only good thing to come out of it was the realization that I am not the only one in the "still single and 26" boat, and I am not the only one who fell for that deceptively optimistic eHarmony commercial featuring "real subscribers" who are now happily coupled.

Blog Catch Up: A Five-Parter

My life has actually been quite busy since I last posted, so I have broken up this post based on all the topics worth discussing.

1. Where the Wild Things Are (Not) Part 2:

Last week I wrote about an uninvited guest that was currently inhabiting my chimney. Of course, not two hours after Animal Control came to my house to assess the situation and determined the animal to be gone, I hear the damn thing rattling around my chimney once more. That was last Tuesday, and I am happy to say that it appears the animal has moved on to a more hospitable home. Lucky for me, it appears no death occurred which also means no awful smell invaded my walls, and also no GUILT on my part! I do feel sorry for the one reader that posted about her rat experience. I am glad my animal and I parted ways on amicable terms.

2. Eharmony Date with Jake:

Last Thursday I went on date #1 with Jake, a guy from Eharmony. I was super excited about meeting Jake because he exhibited all the good signals a girl can hope for: good profile pics, smart and funny email responses, taller than me when I'm wearing heels, etc. We met for drinks at Gordon Brewery (I know, what is it with that place that every guy wants to go there for date #1???) and talked for several hours. Again the question of chemistry comes up. Although I definitely would like to go on date #2 with Jake, I have to say that I thought I would feel that instant "click" with him. I felt like we had similar senses of humor when we were emailing, but in person, I may have fallen a little flat. I don't know whether it is because he was nervous or what. I mean, I sometimes forget that just because I don't get nervous before a first date, doesn't mean that others do not. Soooo, I haven't heard from him since Thursday, but if we go out again, I will definitely update to let you know whether there were more sparks.

3. I Met My Dream Boy

Last Friday (the day after my date with Jake), I needed to take Jackson to the dog park before my friend arrived from Houston for the weekend. Jackson was very hyper and needed the exercise, so I grabbed him and without a thought or a care about how greasy and scrubby I looked, we headed for the park. Of course, while we were there, I met my dream guy. Seriously. I. Met. Him. I will call him Dog Park Guy. DPG was way hot, super-nice (we talked for about 30 mins), had a great personality, a great sense of humor, a great dog, and our dogs got along really well! However, I didn't get his number because I am a big chicken and have naturally made the assumption that he has a GF, but if I see him again, I am going to go out on a limb and see if he would like to meet up sometime. Wish me luck.

But, going back to post #2 above, the date with Jake that seemed ok on Thursday, seemed blah compared to the chemistry I felt with the DPG on Friday. With Jake, although I would like to see him again, it's not going to break my heart if we don't. With DPG, I TOTALLY want to see him again, like now. Why can't for just once, the stars be aligned and help a girl out so that she goes out with a guy she is head over heels for after only knowing him for 30 minutes? That so does not happen to me very often!

4. Six Flags Baby!

On Saturday, I went to Six Flags Over Texas in Arlington with a few friends. Let me just say that my inner-kid comes out with the mention of roller coasters. I love those things. A lot. Like, so "a lot" that I rode the Titan three times in a row, and then one final time before leaving the park as a way to say goodbye until next year. That place is awesome, and it wasn't very crowded which allowed my friends and I to ride EVERY roller coaster multiple times if desired, with virtually no wait. I definitely had my hands up and my scream on. PS. They now sell beer at Six Flags, but it is too expensive to drink enough to get a decent buzz on.

5. Umm, is that my underwear?

So yeah, funny story. Before heading to Six Flags on Saturday, my friends and I dropped off our pooches at Paw Beach Resort in Plano, Tx for Doggie Day Care, so we wouldn't have to worry about them while we were living it up on the Titan. We walked in, and Jackson being a regular at day care was ready for play time, but my friend's dog Gabbie needed to check in for her first visit. While my friend was busy with the front desk guy, I was talking to the guy who watches the dogs in the back and playing with Jackson. All of a sudden something caught my eye. About two feet away from me, on the pristine floor of the lobby lay an object that looked familiar. Umm, is that my underwear? Yep. It sure was.

People, I CANNOT even begin to make this shit up. I was mortified, but also very confused because I normally do not feel the need to bring backup underwear with me when I go places. The only reasonable explanation for this occurrence was that due to the evil that is known as static cling, the undies were stuck to the inside of my jeans after drying them and gradually worked themselves down the pant leg and onto the floor. Now, I do not know why they chose that opportune moment to appear in public, and not while I was at home, but that is neither here nor there. The main thing is that Doggie Day Care boy now knows that I wear VS Boy Shorts with the Dog Pattern (fitting, I know), and now so do you. The only sense of pride I have in the whole ordeal, and my friend pointed this out, is that at least they were cute undies and not granny panties.

In Laws

This past weekend my in-laws came in town. My husband and I have not seen them since July and we had a fabulous time. The one thing I realize every time we seem them is how much my husband is like my FIL. It’s scary, but a good scary.

Friday night we went to a nice dinner at La Cima, which is the Las Colinas City Club restaurant and Saturday we showed my FIL the wonder that is Central Market. I don’t think he blinked the entire time we were there. For those of you that don’t know what Central Market is, it is somewhat of a specialty grocery store. They have all the pre-prepared food you can think of, an olive bar about 30 feet long, a salsa bar to match, homemade pastas and bread, any kind of cheese imaginable, and an amazing produce section. The one thing they didn’t have….Halloween candy. They kept pointing me toward the bulk candy. Yeah, because all parents love letting their kids eat unwrapped candy from strangers. Anyway as a side note, we bought candy at another store and we only had FOUR trick-or-treaters. LAME. But I digress.

Saturday night my parents came over and my husband and I made dinner for everyone and then we watched a slideshow of pictures from our Italy trip. I swear I will never make someone watch a video of a vacation, but you will be subjected to digital pictures on the TV screen. The weekend ended with us going to breakfast on Sunday before they headed back down to San Antonio.

I know this type of relationship with in-laws is not always the case. Does anyone have any crazy in-law stories? Anonymous posts are welcomed :)

FW: RE: Your Action

Every office has one of those people who take the job of delegating out work uberseriously. Unfortunately, these people are not your boss, and they are usually not in a position of power; no, no, these are people who don't actually like to do any work themselves, so they try very hard to pass the work onto others. My office has one of these said people. His name is Slacker (not really, but I try to be fair and not use real names), and Slacker really pissed me off today.

Earlier this afternoon, I received an email from Slacker that contained the following statement, "This request should have been directed to you. Your action." Umm, excuse me? Do you mean to tell me that this five page email train where your name is mentioned all over the friggin' place was mistakenly sent to you instead of me? And that the five people copied on this email are so stupid that they put you as the actionee instead of me? And that you think it is ok to "reply to all" and then some to let everyone know that I have the action to complete, when this is the first time I've heard about this issue EVER? And that you think it is acceptable to direct me to do something just because you don't want to have to do it? Who in the hell do you think you are?

Face the facts Slacker! This IS your job, you AREN'T my boss, and QUIT copying every MF*ing person in this office on messages where you deny responsibility and accountability for the tasks you were hired to do!

Deep breath. Please say someone understands where I am coming from? I like my job, and I don't mind doing work that should be mine to do, but what I don't like is for people, like this guy, who think that just by putting the words "Your action" in an email that they have successfully abstained themselves from any responsibility regarding the work.

As the rush of pure hatred filled Princess Tartini's veins (NOT an overreaction by the way because this is not the first time this has happened to me, and I have also witnessed this infuriating behavior happen to others), my first instinct was to shoot back an email also replying to all letting this guy have it big time. However, my cooler senses prevailed, and a sensible email was sent back to Slacker and slacker's boss (who is kind of a pseudo-boss to me) questioning whether or not this was really an appropriate task for my function.

I don't know the outcome yet, but I feel at the very least my point was made: I don't mind doing the work if a supervisor asks me to, but I sure as hell don't take direction from Slacker, and I refuse to allow him to CC me into submission just because he uses email as a broadcast for "not my job".

Where the Wild Things Are

On Sunday, I arrived home from Tucson on time (thank you American Airlines for that wonderful performance) and immediately settled in, unpacked my stuff, and did a little happy dive onto my couch to catch up on my DVRd shows. Not long into Grey's, I heard the weirdest scratching noise that sounded like it was coming from my roof. I ignored it thinking that it was probably a bird on the roof, but the sound persisted. I then decided that further investigation was necessary, and I climbed up in the attic to see if some random animal had made its home in my insulation. Umm, no. I then proceeded outside and tried to look like I knew what I was doing as I surveyed all aspects of my roof from the ground. Still nothing. I went back inside, pressed play, and continued in my happy bliss.

An hour later, the same noise occurred again. This time, after listening very closely, I determined that the noise resembled an animal trapped in some small space that was trying to get a foothold on a slick metal vertical object . . . hmmm, what could that be? Hint: When you start a fire in your fireplace, smoke goes up your _______. Very good kids!

My chimney was the unintended home of a wild thing-I am guessing a squirrel. Crap. After listening to the rattling for a little while, it all but stopped and I headed to bed, completely forgetting about the sound. Apparently, this little guy and I are on the same circadian rhythm because we both slept soundly throughout the night. And also like me, the little guy gets cranky in the mornings, which is when I remembered that I did indeed still have my overnight visitor.

To speed up my little tale, let me just say that there is really no good and easy way to get an animal out of one's chimney. Recommendations made by colleagues and my dear dad included: smoke it out, open the damper and let it fall into a box, call animal control, let it die and then fall into said box . . .

I pay taxes, and being new to the city, I decided to check out my local animal control who recommended a trap. They even came by to look up the chimney and help me set up the trap. Apparently, my wild thing is either a little shy or has the ability to disappear into thin air because the office could not see anything caught in the chimney. She told me that the animal might have freed itself, but to call back if I heard any more noises.

People, I am here to tell you, that this intruder is back. In fact, I am listening to him rumble around and get ready for bed as I write this post. Looks like I am going to have to get the trap and see what I can do about enticing the wild thing out of my chimney.

Stay tuned for Part II of this story, but to keep you intrigued, I will tell you that it will either end in a sad death (not mine), a story of survival and hope (yes, mine), or me possibly contracting the disease called rabies. Luckily, from the show The Office, I happen to know that rabies is curable-so I'm really not that worried, but I'll let you know what happens.

I have spent the most wonderful week in Arizona. My trip started out on Tuesday in Scottsdale for a business conference where I was able to network, listen to amazing speakers, and most importantly, catch up with old friends, including a former crush of mine. Not to worry, there was no round deux for me (a test I was not sure if I would be able to pass). But, everything seemed to work out fine and I think this is why:

What I have realized is that more times than not, the grass is greener on the other side. And when you you are faced with staring over to that lush, green "other side" day in and day out, it kind of makes it kind of hard to move on and it becomes very easy to convince yourself that somehow, life with that boy, or with that job, or whatever would be way better than what you have growing in your own backyard. However, lucky for me, I was able to move away and with time, I didn't think about this guy as much . . . and then not at all. Seeing him again only reminded me that sometimes having amazing "chemistry" does not necessarily translate into endless love.

After the conference was over on Thursday, I headed down south to my old stomping ground, Tucson, with my good friend V. Our plans consisted of sleeping in late, hitting up our favorite Tucson restaurants, and catching up on all kinds of crazy gossip.

Thus far, we have been successful in all endeavours. In 1.5 days, we have hit up 5 different restaurants!! Umm, yeah, I went on a 5-day cruise last year and didn't gain a pound. I am pretty sure a 3-day trip to Tucson is going to net me at least a +5 on the scale. That = not cool. However, the taste of Cafe Poca Cosa on the lips = totally worth it. Oh, and seeing a hot bartender dressed up for Halloween in an authentic flight suit from his Army days was a totally yummy experience that I would not trade in for anything. *Note of Importance: There is just not enough of that manly hotness going on in Dallas! Dallas needs more flight suits!

Tonight we will hit up a Halloween party where I will most definitely NOT be dressed up. And then tomorrow, I will head back to "the land of the beautiful-no matter what the cost." Speaking of the old adage "the grass is always greener on the other side." I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to stay in Tucson instead of moving to Dallas. Being here has made me realize once again, that the grass may be greener in certain places, but that I really did make the right choice in moving back to Texas.

No Payment Is Necessary

Last Saturday I had a revelation. Do you want to know what it was? Well, it all started when I agreed to attend a 60th birthday party with my father while my mom was on vacay in Italy (yes, I agree it's a shame that Queen Gin&Tonic and Sweet N' Lo could not meet up for cappuccinos while they were both there), but I digress.

First, let me just let you know that 60 is like the new 40 -but better. I mean, back in the day, 60 was old (to me anyway). Now, 60 is retired, custom-built house on a hill with a view, and plenty of beer and wine. So, I went to this party expecting to have a fairly good time with my father and some of his fun-loving friends, and ended up meeting one of the 20-something sons of the couple that threw the party.

I guess the whole "revelation" thing started when I realized that I would not have to hand over my 16-digit credit card number in order to "view his profile" a la Eharmony. In fact, I owed this guy no payment at all except for good conversation in return for his. We ate, drank, and talked pretty much all night long about everything in the world and nothing in particular. I could tell he was into me because a) after we would drift apart in the crowd, he would come and find me; b) he is a Longhorn, but still checked the A&M v. Tech football score for me; and c) would say things like, "Wow, I think I am telling you way more about myself than you would ever want to know." Yeah, kind of, but it was also kind of refreshing to be around someone who wasn't trying so hard to be cool that his personality was a big fat zero.

Unfortunately, this guy lives in H-Town and I live north of Big D . . . so . . . yeah . . . that stretch of 45 is just so painful. But here's the deal: He invited me to be his "Charlie" from Top Gun for Halloween, but I had to say no due to plans to visit friends in Tucson, but we exchanged numbers at the party anyway.

And he called tonight. Seriously. I paid for no subscription. I wasn't at a fancy bar wearing my "keeping up with the Ashley's" trendy look. I mean, this was like a simple five step process. The very thing movies are made of! We said hello. We talked. He asked for my number. He called. He asked to see me again. BAM!

Now, I am in no way saying that I am in love at first sight with this guy. I don't even know him, but I just find it amazing that after months of paying Eharmony to introduce me to singles in my area that are compatible with my personality on "28 different points", that I have personally met only two of them. And free of charge, this guy wants to drive 4 hours north of where he lives and take me to a Dallas Stars game (or whatever I want to do).

There is something either really wrong or really right with this situation.

Italia

Well my husband and I got back late last night from ten fabulous days in Italy. As you may have read in an earlier post, we traveled with another couple and I have to say that it could not have gone better! We had a terrific time together.

We started the trip in Rome and despite what people say, you can see Rome in a day or two. Don't get me wrong, we hit the ground running as soon as we got there and we walked the entire city over the course of the two days. We did a tour of the Vatican, which I highly recommend because we learned a lot and more importantly got to skip the massive line outside the entrance.

Our next destination was the Amalfi coast. On the way down we stopped in Naples for a pizza (the pizza was amazing, the town was scary) and then took the local train to Pompeii. I had higher expectations for Pompeii, but I am still glad we saw it. After Pompeii we continued on the train to the Amalfi Coast and it was absolutely beautiful. One of the days we took a private boat tour to and around the Isle of Capri. I have to say I think that was my favorite part of the vacation.

After the Amalfi Coast we went to Florence for three days. We did a Tuscany Bike Tour and it was killer and a killer. They aren't lying when they say the Tuscany area is full of hills. We rode to a winery owned by Prince Cosini and after a tour of the winery we had lunch and two glasses of wine. Unfortunately, the wine did not make the hills on the return bike ride any easier.

After Florence we headed back to Rome for one last day before our flight out. It was a relaxing day just walking around the town. Overall it was a great trip, but I am glad to be home. The flight from Rome to NY was 10.5 hours (including an hour sitting on the runway) and the trip from NY to Dallas was 8 hours (including four hours of sitting on the runway, I'm still annoyed about that). Needless to say I am exhausted and tired of being on a plane. The toughest part comes tomorrow....going back to work.

A Whiner Gets Her Way

Many months ago, right before I started blogging, I was allowed the great privilege of guest blogging on my dear friend Mojito Maven's blog, Make Mine A Mojito. On the guest post (http://makemineamojito.com/2009/08/12/why-must-new-shoes-squeak/), I wrote that due to the very horrendous conditions of Company XX's parking lot, that I was forced to buy new black work pumps because my other shoes had been RUINED by all of the potholes and cracks. Now, let me first explain that this isn't your average little parking lot. I am whining for a cause. This parking lot is like, Walmart on a Saturday times two. It is hell, especially if it is raining (like today) or if you have to park way in the back flow lot (like today) because your alarm just wasn't shrill enough to coax you out of bed on time.

Nevertheless, this story has a happy ending, and it is all my fault. Readers--I am practically a Goddess in my office now. To my co-workers, I am the woman who single handedly convinced, no demanded!, in her finest Southern whine, that the entire parking lot be repaved. And you know what? As a result . . . it's being "handled".

Now to be honest (oh dear, I sound like a lying politician), but really, to be honest, my company sends out an employee opinion survey every few years to gauge what Company XX is doing well and what needs work. I used this survey as a sounding board for my parking lot complaint. I told people about it, and most laughed at me. But now, those same people are looking at me with admiration. They are giving me the thumbs up, they are asking me to draft similar complaints because I am proven to get results, and they are giving me their diet-Pepsi at meetings as a thank you.

The parking lot has been under construction this entire week, and every day that I walk past it, I give myself a little pat on the back for a whine well done.

A Whiner gets her way and new shoes will finally be safe from destruction.

Now I Have Seen It All . . .

It's no secret that I am on Eharmony to try to meet an intelligent, good-looking, compassionate man who understands both complicated technology and the concept of giving flowers to a woman for no reason at all. So almost every day, I scour the "new matches" Eharmony has thrown at me in an attempt to decipher the secret written code of the male species, hoping to find the one for me. Tonight was no different. Let me preface this by saying that I know I have mentioned the horrendous pictures guys put on their profiles in what I can only guess is a bad attempt to show humor and individuality, but there is a reason why I have not gone into great detail about this. And the reason is that just when I thought profile pics couldn't get any worse, I saw #1 below.

But first, a count-down of the runner-up worst profile pics a guy can post. I have not made any of these up; I have seen all of these offenses with my very own eyes. My comments are in italics.

5. Guy + hot girl who is not a family member. (Oh, yes, please let me compete against her!)

4. Guy with a large group of other guys who are all drinking beer, with a caption underneath that reads "I'm the one with the least beer belly." (Oh God, don't make me have to take out an extra small tape measure just to figure out which one you are. Guess what, you all have enormous beer bellies and look the same!)

3. Guy with five pictures that all look like different people. (Hmm, but what do you look like today? Are you most like the outdoor picture where you have facial hair? Or most like the pic of you at the bar with your homees and frosted tips and graphic tee? Ahhhhh!)

2. Guy with the "I took this in the bathroom, but forgot to angle out the toilet and Windex the mirror." (Ok, so I know we haven't really technically communicated yet, but I feel like I know you so well and that we have really reached a certain amount of comfort in our relationship. I mean, gosh, I've already seen your grimy toilet and mirror, and we haven't even swapped first questions yet.)

and drum-roll please:

1. Guy and his friend dressed up as "Dick in a box." (Wow, it's awesome that this was your "coming out" profile picture to all those lucky ladies who pay a shitload of money to meet guys on Eharmony. Oh, if only you really were JT!)

Now I have seen it all.

You Did Too!

Today I got into a verbal altercation with a 17-year old high school student, on his turf. My company, Company X decided to teach a negotiation simulation at a local high school today to give high school seniors a chance to act out a real-world negotiation over two competing record companies.

I was a coach. At first, I was like, I am just going to "guide" my team, but let them do most of the thinking. I thought I did a fairly good job of that, but the team we were negotiating with was very positional and demanding without providing very good rationale for their arguments. At one point, the other team was arguing that the 20% royalties my team was asking for was OUTRAGEOUS. I merely pointed out that earlier, they had insisted that my record company was inferior to theirs because they had a record deal with three out of the four band members, while we held only 25% of the assets, so a 20% royalty seemed reasonable to me if we were going to allow an album to be produced under their label and with their complete artistic control. "Did not" was followed by "You did too!" Then, in not so nice words the boy told me to butt out and that I wasn't allowed to talk because I was a coach and not a student. Not gonna lie, that stung, but . . .

What the hell was I doing??? I got into a fight with a 17-year old boy! I am so not mature! My team, of course, had my back, but still-I got a little carried away. In the end my team did not reach any agreement with the other team, which was a bummer, but I was still proud of them because they really acted like a team and learned from the experience.

The only thing that makes me feel better about the whole situation was that one of the other coaches told me that tomorrow she will probably have a bruised and sore tongue because she literally had to bite her tongue in order to keep from piping up during her negotiations.

Well, I told her, at least you still have your pride and didn't get told off by a minor.

"I Thought I Had Responded"

Remember a month or so back when I wrote a super-excited post about this guy from my past who had contacted me out of the blue? Well, after not hearing back from him for several weeks, I finally messaged him on FB to see if he had received my message. In no less than three days time he had responded, and much to my chagrin, he said "I remember getting your note about being in Dallas! I thought I responded but things have been so hectic with school I may have just thought i did. I started law school about 3 weeks ago at Tulsa! Maybe we can catch up when I'm back for the summer!

What? Two sentences in this message strike me as odd:
1) "I thought I had responded?" How do you forget whether you have responded or not to a friend you have not talked to in years? On a conversation that you initiated no less? Yes, I have a forgetful mind at times, but if I go out of the way to contact someone that I have not spoken to in a long time, I sure as hell respond back to their email and remember the act of doing so.

2) "Maybe we can catch up when I'm back for the summer." Summer? As in the summer season that will be occurring after exactly three more seasons have come and gone? Summer, as in after 75% more of a year has passed? Summer, as in the year 2010? Summer, as in after I must claim that I am one year older than I am today? Summer?

Does this strike anyone else as odd? Any thoughts on this behavior?

Please Don't Hate Us for Our Blogging Hiatus

It may seem like Princess Tartini and I have either forgotten our password to our blog page or fallen off the face of the earth, but rest assured we are still here. PT's internet has been down for several weeks, so she has been unable to post. As for me, I have been swamped with work and with planning a trip to Italy. We leave next Wednesday for ten days and will be going to Rome, Sorrento (Amalfi Coast), and Florence. I thought we were getting prepared at a reasonable pace, but now that it is only a week away I am starting to stress with all the little things we have left to do. We are going with another couple, which we have never done before.

Does anyone have any advice or stories about traveling with friends? We would like to remain friends after the trip ;-)

What Kind of Excuse is You "Have to Help Your Friend Move"?

Last week in "How Do I Know If We Have "Chemistry"? I blogged about going out with Andy from Eharmony twice, but not yet knowing whether or not we had chemistry. I wanted to have one more date to see if anything developed one way or another between us. Date number two ended with me asking him if he would like to go to Oktoberfest on Saturday with me and him agreeing.

Friday when I called him up to see if he was still up for going out on Saturday, but to Grapefest instead (we both are self-proclaimed winos), he said "I have to help my friend with something on Saturday, but if we get done early enough I might be able to go." Later that afternoon, I received a text from him stating that he could not go to Grapefest because he was helping a friend move.

Moving? MOVING?? Even Princess Tartini is smart enough to know that if a guy chooses to help a buddy move over going out with a girl, that this is not a good sign. Nobody likes moving. In fact, people make up all kinds of excuses why they can't help a friend move. They don't readily volunteer for moving duty unless they have another obligation that is even worse than sweating up three flights of stairs while balancing a sleeper sofa on your head. So I got it. Really I did. Andy was giving me the passive aggressive "I'm just not that into you" kind of excuse. Fine . . . moving on.

Until . . . .Monday at 12:18 via text message: From Andy: How was ur weekend?

Umm, how do you think my weekend was? Fun except for the fact that I thought we had plans and then you blew me off to help a friend move, which I interpreted to mean that you were not interested. Am I wrong? Has my female intuition failed me?

Seriously, how do I respond to this? I am not his friend. I am only two dates in the hole. Is this a friendly, "I kind of feel bad for giving you a bad excuse why I could not see you and now I am trying to make myself feel better by asking you how your weekend was"? If so, then, how about we not play this game. However, if this is a "I really did have to help my friend move despite the fact that I had already told you last weekend that I would like to get together on Saturday," then the answer is still no. I want to be prioritized higher than "I have to help my friend move."

AAAHHHH!! So frustrating! Should I respond to this text message or file it under "not worth my time?"

P.S. For us elders in the community over 16 years of age, "your" is spelled Y-O-U-R, not U-R!

Time Flies

In a couple of weeks a milestone event will occur. My 10-year High School reunion. I have such mixed emotions about this event. I really haven’t stayed friends with most of my high school friends, so I wonder if this is going to present a certain amount of awkwardness. It’s not that we had a falling out and no longer speak, it’s just that over time we have lost touch. Which makes me wonder, am I crappy friend? I could blame this on Facebook by saying they make it too easy to know what is happening in someone else’s life without even talking to them, but I know that is not the real problem. I feel like so many people have that close group of high school friends that they plan to will be friends with forever. Whereas with me, I make a close friend and then me or the other person moves to another state and we grow apart over time then I make new friends and the cycle starts all over. Plus, the location of the event was recently revealed and I have to say it was a bit of a let down. Shame on me for basing my expectations on what I've seen in movies, but a "cafe" is not what I was expecting for our reunion. Despite this, I am looking forward to going. You get to see what people have made of themselves over the past ten years. Did the popular kids peak in high school? Are the jocks now fat and bald? Are the nerds now rich and married to models? Luckily for me, I am actually proud of what I have done over the past ten years. I am definitely more motivated, more confident, and more successful. Perhaps if I wasn’t then I wouldn’t be going to the reunion.

In preparation of the big event, Princess Tartini and I are going shopping for the perfect outfit. We have dubbed this event “Tartini Saturday” as we will partake in a tasty Tartini (or two) prior to shopping. We also hope to take some pictures, so we can spice up our blog page!

How Do I Know If We Have "Chemistry"?

Last Saturday I went on date #2 with Andy,** a guy I met through Eharmony. Our first date had gone very well. We met for drinks and later, a shared dinner of fish tacos and desert, at a micro-brewery in Plano. He was everything his profile portrayed, which is a rare find in the online dating world. We had plenty to chat about and both agreed that we would like to see each other again. Needless to say, date #1, aka, the "scary oh shit I hope he really looks like his picture" date, was a success.

For date #2, the one I call, "ok buddy, who are you really?" at his suggestion, we went to a wonderful sushi restaurant for dinner. Again, we had a good time talking, but were at a loss for what to do after dinner. It was still early, and we had already ruled out seeing a movie. (Have you seen the crap that is playing in the theatres these days???) So, being a rainy evening, I suggested going to a coffee shop and chatting some more. He suggested that if I was comfortable we could go over to his apartment for coffee. I agreed because a) I am a skeptical person by nature and didn't sense any Ted Bundy inclinations, and that b) if anything went wrong, I would have the whole apartment complex as a witness to my glass-cracking high-pitched screams. (Mom, if you are reading this, please don't be mad!).

Now, for you dating girls out there, you KNOW how important the first apartment visit can be because it can tell you a lot about a person that cannot easily be hidden or faked. Well, I am proud to say that Andy passed with flying colors. His apartment was clean and neat. His furniture was a mix of Ikea and other nicer pieces of furniture. He also had A LOT of electronics, which makes sense since he is a self-described geek. (He works for a cell phone carrier based in Dallas). He made coffee, for which we both added plenty of milk and splenda, and we chatted about a range of different subjects, including his fondness for the band Kings of Leon. About an hour later I made my exit-in my hand, a burned copy of a few Kings of Leon songs.

I guess all in all, I would rate the date a B, and here is why: How do I know if we have chemistry? I mean, we got along fine. He seems to have many of the qualities that I consider hard to find in men, but there was no POW! No AHA! No sound of whooshing as my head went into the clouds. Worse, what if I am just sooo boring, that I won't ever be able to find POW! or AHA! or WHOOSH! with anyone? How many dates do I need to go on before I know whether the elusive "chemistry" that people talk about so much is present?

At the end of the date, I suggested meeting up for Oktoberfest in Addison ( http://www.addisontexas.net/events/Oktoberfest/default.asp) next Saturday. I think this will be a good active date to go on. I think after date #3 I will know whether the relationship is going to take off, or be merely another "dating experience" compliments of Eharmony.

**Name changed to protect the poor, innocent guy I am writing about

Please Don't Call Me

A few months ago, rocker Pink released a single called Please Don't Leave Me. Now I am kind of wishing she would return to her bad gal roots and write a song called Please Don't Call Me. You see, back in March or so of this year, my boyfriend did leave me. It was one of those, "yeah, um, this really isn't working out for me" type of situations. No reasons, no warning, just see ya. Really, I think he wanted some drama and for me to beg him to stay, and to tell him how much I needed him blah blah blah, which is totally not my style. Instead, in typical Princess Tartini fashion, I moved on and decided to proceed with my plan to buy a house.

I guess the only perplexing thing about the "break up" is that I am still fielding calls and text messages from this guy many months later. And the most pathetic thing is that he does this even if he is dating another girl!! A few weeks ago, I just knew he must have broken up with his girlfriend because the frequency and desperateness of his communications increased. I received two phone calls and three texts from him IN ONE WEEK! These communications consists of drunk messages, declarations of how good of a chef he is, requests for dinner and to come see my house, and one text and follow-up phone call to let me know how much this comedian on E! Channel reminds him of me (Chelsea Handler, if you must know).

At first I was a little flattered that he still called. It was my silent victory of haha-YOU are calling ME. Then, it was a source of humor as I forwarded his ridiculous text messages to my friends, who also knew him. Now, it is just plain stupid. Please don't call me and make up dumb excuses why you need to talk to me. IE. "Oh, my phone must have just dialed you, but now that we are talking, how are you? We should do dinner sometime." Ok buddy, whatever. What part of breaking up do you not understand?

Even though I know that us parting ways was the right thing to do, it just kills me that he thinks he can worm his way back into my life with his "accidental" phone calls and "oh, I was so drunk and therefore had no control over my actions" text messages. Here's a thought: Do I call you? No. Do I text you? No. Sooooo, please don't call me.

A Little Off The Top

The past week has been hectic to say the least for both me and PT. I’m not sure what has been keeping PT so busy, but I do know that she went on a date last Friday night. I hope we hear more about that soon :)

As for me, my week was filled with house/pet sitting for my parents (and by “pet” I mean, 2 dogs, 3 cats, and 4 horses), a crazy work week, and the usual chores/errands that never seem to stop. One of my errands was to get a haircut. I hate getting my haircut. Mainly because it seems to take F-O-R-E-V-E-R. I know some people find it relaxing, but I would rather be doing so many other things. Like getting a massage :) Plus, why are they so expensive? Even crappy stylists are charging more because they think can get away with it. Not with this girl. So what’s my answer? Wait as long as possible to get my hair cut (you know, the point where you must get it cut TODAY) and then go to any place I can find a coupon for. I do this every time and it always turns out to be a nerve-racking experience. My main concern is that the person is available immediately. From what I’ve observed, good hairstylists are not available at the drop of a hat. You generally have to make an appointment in advance.

True to form, I called and made an appointment with the lady that answered the phone. She was available immediately. Strike one. Once I was in the chair, she wanted to cut seven inches of my hair off. No way lady, I made that mistake last time. So I asked her to take off just an inch and then give me layers. She takes off the inch and then grabs a handful of hair from the top of my head and literally cut it in half. I closed my eyes from that point on and then, like a fool, I asked her to thin my hair. Like even more of a fool, I started counting how many times she “razored” my hair to thin it. Forty-two times. I’m here to tell you, that’s a lot of hair. I told myself to stop counting but I couldn’t. I also told myself to speak up and say something, but I couldn’t spit the words out. Plus once she did the left side of my head, it’s not like she could do less on the right side.

Overall, my hair looks better than I thought it would although shorter than I would have liked. But it is just hair and it will grow out. Especially since I probably won’t get another haircut for six months. The cherry though was when she handed me her card, took it back, and in front of “Designer” she penned in “Master “. And just like that, she became a “Master Designer”. Was that really necessary?

Act Now!

Have you ever bought something and later (or even immediately after) asked yourself, "What was I thinking?" I made one of those purchases about a month ago. It's bad. Real bad. I saw an ad in the newspaper for a once in a lifetime opportunity and it just so happened that this "deal" was that day only. Plus there were limited quantities, so I had to act fast in order to be one of the lucky owners of this item. I first wanted to see if I was too late for the purchase or if they had any left. I mean if I was too late then I could have said it wasn't meant to be. So I called the number and sure enough while they were "going fast", there were still some left. Well now that I had the salesperson on the phone, I couldn't just say "Oh I just wanted to see if you had any left. Bye." That would be rude. So I bought it and ever since I hung up the phone I have regretted it. I didn't tell my husband because he was out mowing the lawn. To my credit, I tried knocking on the window while he was outside, but he couldn't hear me. And even though is the beauty of having separate bank accounts, we still we try not to make stupid or rash purchases and are usually quite successful. Unfortunately, this purchase qualified as both. So I called my mom because I thought if I confessed to someone it would make the purchase seem more reasonable. That was not the case. Even she asked me what I was thinking.

I decided to put off telling my husband and pushed the mistake to the back of my mind. Then one day there was a giant package by the front door. At first I thought it was a surprise present, but I soon realized what it was and my stomach dropped. I had forgotten about the deal of the century. I didn't even open the box. I hid it in the guest room closet hoping that my husband wouldn't go in there for anything. I knew I had 90 days to return it, so I held off my confession. I thought about writing a blog post while he was out of town, so that way he would find out while he was miles away in a hotel room. Then I decided to put it off longer and he came back in town. My time was running out. I played the conversation in my head and the more I played the more comfortable I became. Maybe he would be excited about the purchase and my eclectic taste. I would tell him how I worried and we would laugh about it over a glass of wine. Then he would take me to a nice dinner because this item would SURELY increase in value and make us rich someday. So finally this past Friday I let him in on my secret. We opened the box together and he just shook his head restraining himself from the 1500 jokes he had, all at my expense.

So what was the item you ask? Only all 50 State Quarters and 6 Territory coins. Uncirculated. I will say I was smart enough not to buy a set from each of the U.S. Mints. Which sadly, I considered. All of this begs one question... Well, two really. "How old am I?" and "What are the 6 territories?". I didn't go blow my paycheck on a new pair of Jimmy Choo's or a designer dress. I bought COINS. COINS. FYI- my 88-year-old Grandpa buys coins. That and an Amish heater that he swears is the greatest thing on earth. My husband asked me how much they were and I asked him to guess. His reply was "I hope not more than 56 X $0.25". Spoiler alert: They were $88 plus s+h. Technically the coins were free. I just had to buy the crappy frame that doesn't even have glass. Did I seriously think I was going to display these in the gargantuan "antique" wall frame they came in? Everyone else buys home decor from Pottery Barn. Not me, I've got coins on the wall. Correction, ALMOST had coins on the wall. Saturday I woke up bright and early and sent the coins back to the "World Reserve" where they belong. They will soon be someone else's treasure (or mistake). Hopefully all this lesson cost me was the shipping and handling. Well that and the embarrassment it has caused. But FYI, the Tennessee state quarter has already increased in value 1100%. This may have been my ticket to early retirement.

Come On Big Money!

I am not a huge gambler by any means. If I actually make it to Louisiana, where gambling is legal, I take my set amount of $$ and try to make it last as long as possible. Yes, I am BORING, in all caps. Someone like my brother, however, would go in, and put it all on red. Of course, he has really good luck and would come out ahead. But, when I go into these casinos, I always feel a little sad for some of the people there. I mean, they are chain smoking their last ciggie and throwing their electricity money away in the quarter slots. I mean, seriously, it gets HOT in Texas and Louisiana, so you definitely don't want to be without A/C! So where am I going with this? Well, I totally cannot see the urge to gamble so much that you are risking your life savings and friendships over the tiny chance that you may beat the House.

Ok, but to be honest, that was YESTERDAY's thinking. That was before my friend Mike mentioned to me that the Texas Mega Millions Jackpot had reach astronomical proportions (around $333M!!!!!!). All of a sudden I JUST HAD to buy a ticket. The only problem was, I needed a dollar. So Mike gave me a dollar and with specific instructions told me to purchase a ticket with the "cash value option." See, he is all about finance and understands that the lump sum is better than the payout over several years. Whatever. I was like a little kid skipping to the 7-Eleven with my sole dollar held high above my head. I am going to be RICH baby!

People-not gonna lie- I spent all day yesterday thinking about what I would do on my first day as nouveau riche. Stream-of-thought: I quickly decided that I needed to keep my job, because otherwise I would be bored. Then I would pay off my house and my car, but then I thought, well maybe because I was so rich that I would need the tax break for my house, so maybe I should buy another one, then I thought, screw it, I will just have to put in a call to Suze Orman and have her help me figure out what to do with my new found wealth.

Everyone-I haven't won the lotto (Although, I haven't technically lost either because they don't pull the numbers until tonight!!!) And although a piece of me thinks that maybe I could win, the truth is that tomorrow I will be the same person I am today and still a "working middle class" American (which really sucks). But now I kind of see what all the gambling fuss is about and how people get addicted. For a whole day, all I could think about was "what if?" Just FYI, I would so be the "nice" rich girl, dashing all over town in my designer originals leaving little $100 bill presents in random places for people to find. I would be known for my kindness and generosity, as well as for my killer bod that my new personal trainer would help me sculpt. So, after all that thinking, I have decided that it is ok to dream about this, because hey, you never really know how things will turn out, but you just have to make sure that at the end of the day, you have money in the bank to make the mortgage payment.

Going Dutch

My husband and I have been married for over two years and still have separate bank accounts. I never thought anything of it until we were out with friends and I said to my husband, "I'll get it". To which someone asked, "What does it matter? It all comes from the same account." Um, no it doesn't. You would not believe the conversation this sparked (mind you, my husband and I were the only ones on "our side"). I still don't see anything wrong with it, just like I don't see anything wrong with sharing accounts. It just works for us. We track our money together, and we consider it "ours", it is just in separate accounts. And this way, if we have a "date night" or one of us wants to treat the other to a trip, we can truly do that...and we do.

Whenever we go to dinner with friends, we still put up with comments like "Oh they have to decide who is going to pay", but a couple of weeks ago I got my revenge. We were on a road trip with the same group and had to stop to use the "facilities". The only place was (conveniently) an outlet mall. As we pulled up, all of the husbands (except for mine) said "We'll stop, but you only have $40 to spend." To which I asked no one in particular, "How do you like sharing a checking account now?"

Now when we have kids it will be a different story :)

Why Hasn't He Emailed Me?

Recently, I was contacted by a guy friend from my past. The two of us had become friends, although not close ones, during an internship our senior year of college. He was good looking, shy, smart, and very nice (which in my world, equal soo hot)! Unfortunately, our relationship stayed "just friends" and we lost contact with each other when we went back to our respective schools at the end of the internship. I hadn't really thought about him for many years when I received a random Facebook message from him wondering how I was and what I was up to these days. When I tried to respond, my anti-virus software would redirect me stating that if overridden, my computer would have "malicious software downloaded." Crap. Well, being the scaredy cat that I am about that stuff, I never got a chance to FB him back. Then (3 weeks later), I had a bright idea: go on to his FB page, get his email address, and email him from my hotmail account! What luck- while on his site I was able to a) confirm that he was still good looking (and possibly in better shape than before); b) find out that he was SINGLE and still interested in WOMEN (check and check); c) that his network was in D/FW (holla!); and d) what his personal email address was. With a girlish giggle, I was able to dash off a witty yet breezy response to his email telling him how fabulously I was doing, complete with invitation to get together for catching up if he was still in the D/FW area.

Ok-that was LAST week! Why hasn't he called, ooops, I mean, emailed me? Is it completely sad that I am wishing and hoping for some freaking words on a computer? Seriously, I have been walking around my house with a bounce in my step and checking my email more that usual in hopes that he has emailed me back with a hello, an update on his life, and an invitation to dinner. ALL because I received a three-liner asking me how I was. Either I am a) desperate; b) a hopeless romantic who is less cute than Ginnifer Goodwin in "He's Just Not That Into You"; or c) placing all my faith in a guy I actually know because my Eharmony subscription for anonymous Johns has yet to pay for itself!

My Question Dear Readers is: Why hasn't he emailed me? He started it! I answered. It's his turn again!

Restaurant Week

Every year the Dallas/Fort Worth area hold Restaurant Week. This is a great chance to get a 3 course meal for a prix fixe price of $35 per person. Most of the top Dallas restaurants participate in this event, so it's a great time to be able to try these restaurants without breaking the bank. Plus $7 of every meal is donated to the North Texas Food Bank, which I think is a win-win.

That being said, last week my husband and I went with some friends and enjoyed a fabulous steak dinner at III Forks restaurant. Last night we went to Abacus for date night and it was amazing. Luckily some of the restaurants extend the week-long event, so we were able to enjoy two wonderful meals without them being back-to-back.

If you are in the Dallas/Fort Worth area and don't know about this event, I highly suggest you check it out. I am surprised by the number of people that aren't aware this goes on every year. Several other states participate in it as well, so it's well worth a Google search. I look forward to trying new restaurants next year!

Project Runway Rewind

*Warning-spoiler below

Last night was Project Runway’s first episode of the season, which is now showing on Lifetime, instead of the usual Bravo. I always look forward to a new season of designer cry babies as they deal with gasp! “reality.” For those of you who missed last night’s episode and don’t want to know who was kicked off, beware of a spoiler below.

The designer’s challenge this week was to design a dress for the red carpet, and they could pick any red carpet event they wanted. Here are the 16 designers in order of first appearance with my first impression of them, followed by my impression of their design on the runway:

Ra’Mon from Chicago, IL
First Impression: Med school? Designer? Wow. That takes guts to go from “Hi, I am in med school studying to become a neurosurgeon. What do you do?” to “Hi, I am trying to become a designer and hoping to make it on Project Runway. Can I borrow some money for the subway?”

Runway Impression: It’s really awesome that Ra’Mon has a profession to “fall back on,” but this guy is soooo not going to need it. His dress was awesome! Of course, he will have to shake it up a little in the future as the competition gets fiercer, but for now, I’m digging him.

Logan from Seattle, WA
First Impression: He plucks his eyebrows. Really, that’s all.

Runway Impression: This dress was red carpet ready for the Cate Blanchett-style crowd, with a very elegant look, but I felt the gray color looked more old and matronly than hip.

Johnny from LA, CA
First Impression: Woah, another recovering addict? Project Runway’s had one before (anyone remember Jeffrey, who made that girl’s mother cry???). At first I was not too sure about this guy, but I definitely give him props for overcoming a meth addiction and for giving new meaning to the phrase “try, try, TRY, again” (he added that third “try” in there and finally succeeded in getting on Runway!)

Runway Impression: Ok, after a breakdown on day 1, I was ready to write this guy off. I have a personal problem with people who CRY on reality TV-especially over a DRESS! But this guy got some Tim Gunn advice, locked it up, and made a spectacular runway dress. BTW-I did love the red, even if Michael Kors wasn’t a fan.

Gordana, Charleston, SC
First Impression: This woman has the drive to succeed. She emigrated from former Yugoslavia and now owns her own shop. That doesn’t just happen without a lot of hard work and talent.

Runway Impression: Her runway dress was very futuristic, and although I did like the color and style, the top around the bust was a little too avant-garde for my taste.

Malvin from NYC
First Impression: He has a look about him that screams “I am dressing weird and provocatively, but acting like this is totally normal, but really I am just bursting inside knowing that everyone is staring at my asymmetrical hair and flannel top that is now cool thanks to Lauren Conrad on The Hills. Oh, and also, I know everything. Even more than Heidi and Tim combined. So ha.” At some point on this show, the whistling sound you hear will be his ego deflating.

Runway Impression: Oh Malvin. His dress, although it had interesting details, looked like it was made in a time before dye was discovered. The dress was the color of a wheat sack, which completely washed out the nice detailing on the front and back. Also, it was more suitable to wear on a Sunday stroll with your significant other than on the red carpet.

Carol Hannah from Charleston, SC
First Impression: I don’t have a clear first impression of her although I believe she has had some success as a small-boutique dress designer.

Runway Impression: Her dress had a unique shape to the bodice, and I did like it, but it was not a top pick for me.

Qristyl from NYC
First Impression: She designs clothes for all sizes and shapes. This will be a problem in the future, as the models Project Runway uses are tiny. However, I do love her, “I don’t call it plus-size, I call it plus-sexy” mantra.

Runway Impression: This dress looked like my third grade bedroom curtains threw up over a bolt of purple satin fabric. Not a fan.

Shirin from Richardson, TX
First Impression: Her name means “sweet” in Farsi. How come I have a feeling that “sweet” won’t last too long on this show? However, she is from right down the road from me, so I feel the need to provide her some Collin County support. Also, I love that she features items that can be worn two ways, which is great for us gals on a budget.

Runway Impression: She gets props for creating two pieces, a dress and a shrug-which solves that tricky problem of what to wear over a nice dress on a cool night. However, I am not wowed by the color or the styling of the dress, although the back was creative.

Nicolas from NYC
First Impression: Mr.“basically, I’m known in NYC as the Feather Prince.” Ooookkkay-I don’t know what that means, but I am willing to bet you are one of those people that goes around and tells people what nickname they should call you a la George on Seinfeld. Like, “hey, you can just call me Feather Prince, everyone else does.” And his BFF is like, “Dude, your name is Nick, with a “k.”

Runway Impression: This short black and gray criss-cross dress looked like haute couture for a construction worker. The gray criss-crosses along the front of the dress resembled the reflective fabric sewn into running clothes and other night gear. This dress was meant for a rave not a runway.

Mitchell from Savannah, GA
First Impression: I am trying to figure this guy out. He might be too much in tune to the business side of things, and not so much in creating designs, but we will see. Also, I am willing to bet he is a Drama King.

Runway Impression: Poor model who had to wear this dress. Think of a Victorian collar attached to a floor-length see-through cloak. Yikes.

Epperson from NYC
First Impression: Lovin’ the dreads. He is a father with kids the age of some of his fellow designers. I think the judges will be impressed with his maturity and how his life experiences influence his designs..

Runway Impression: His dress was very dramatic, both in styling and color, and although I loved the overall image of it, I did not think the tea length looked matched the high drama of the dress.

Christopher, Shakopee, MN
First Impression: Wow. Minnesota-didn’t expect that. Never went to college and completely self-taught. You gotta have respect for people who walk in to Project Runway and compete against the contestants who have been previously employed by famous designers or contestants who are already known around NYC, aka “the Feather Prince.” The “some day I will be amazing” mantra is a little corny though.

Runway Impression: Wow. His dress is exactly what the Mileys and Vanessas of today are wearing. The cute short dress was very hip, yet still had a classic shape to it. I could totally see myself rocking that dress! The only bad thing is, Chris cried during the runway show. AHHHHHH I hate that!

Ari Fish, Kansas City, MO
First Impression: She talks to fabric. This could be interesting. She seems the most conceptual of the group, and very futuristic. Also, she does not sketch, instead she meditates and stands on her head.

Runway Impression: I think when the judges say “design a dress for the red carpet” they mean design a dress so that one of their celebrity BFFs can call them up tomorrow and say, “Nina, dahling, I simply MUST have that dress I saw on Project Runway for my movie opening tonight.” I think what Ari thought when they issued the challenge was, “It is the year 2080. All the stupid people have been killed off through a process of natural selection. The only people left are beautiful and smart; therefore, it is possible that someone may be receiving an Emmy AND the Nobel Prize in one fantastic night! This woman will accept her awards in a reflective vest and hot pants because dresses will be considered environmentally unfriendly for using too much fabric.” It was a mere misunderstanding on Ari’s part, that’s all.

Althea, Dayton, OH
First Impression: She had good internships at well-known designers, but I did not get a good feel for her personality.

Runway Impression: Althea’s runway dress was surprisingly old-fashioned in a glamorous and stunning way.

Irina, NYC
First Impression: Her dog is her inspiration.

Runway Impression: I liked the dress, but didn’t think it was one of the best.

Louise, Dallas
First Impression: She has a retro look to her, and loves vintage. I think her love of 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s inspired clothing will give her designs a unique flair.

Runway Impression: Her dress was stunning again, in a vintage way. It was two-toned, had amazing detailing on the shoulder of the dress, and an interesting hemline. Also, she had constructive criticism of her own dress on the runway, which not too many designers do. I am willing to bet that her ability to think practically and not let her ego get in the way will be a good thing. This designer is one to watch.

In the end, the bottom three were Ari, Qristyl, and Mitchell, and our futuristic gal-pal Ari went home. This was a mistake I think, to send home one of the most creative and forward thinking people on the show. No Ari would not have won the competition, but I would have loved to see some more of her concepts play out on fabric before sending her home. Qristyl was my pick to get the boot, er, I mean stiletto. There is no way to overcome bad design and bad fabric choice. At least Ari had a good explanation for how she developed her design, and Mitchell had a semi-good excuse for his disaster. Oh well, I guess we will have to wait until next week to see if it was a good idea to keep Qristyl.
Any thoughts Readers?

Are You Sure You Want To Eat That?

Why do men (specifically older men) at work feel it's necessary to question everything their women co-workers eat? For instance, there is a man at work that considers himself everyone's personal nutrition and fitness expert. The problem? No one (that I know of) solicits his advice. An example. As stated in my initial post, I love all things sweet. Unfortunately for me and my waistline, another co-worker feels the need to sit a GIANT bowl of chocolate (that he refills everyday) right by my desk. I don't know where he buys this chocolate, but I could swear it is the freshest chocolate that has ever touched my lips. I try to avoid the bowl, but temptation gets the best of me around 3PM, so I get my daily fix by way of a Miniature Hershey's. Okay, it's two Miniature Hershey's. Mind you, I usually workout before work and eat a healthy lunch, specifically so I can enjoy my chocolate because I know that either way, I am going to eat the chocolate. So everyday when I am on my way to get the chocolate, I look to make sure my health advisor is not around, but what always happens? He jumps from around the corner with a "I Caught You" look in his eyes and then he tells me that I need to go back to the gym since I ate the chocolate. These words literally came out of his mouth.

So what did he do today? Our work was giving out free donuts and my friend got one. After all, they were free. Like clockwork, this guy was lurking around waiting to pounce on his next victim and says to my friend, "You better be careful, you don't want to get any 'door dings' from that donut." Are you kidding me? Did he really say that out loud?

Another favorite was when I ran into him in the cafeteria and he told me I looked like I lost five pounds. He followed that with "Well, the five pounds you had gained, but at least I was smart enough not to say anything when you gained it". If the reader is asking if I ever told him I gained five pounds, the answer is no. It's no wonder people are self-conscious. Not only is this man seriously looking to get decked one of these days (by me), but he's not the only one that makes these types of comments.

So why do these men feel it's necessary to ask (and at an octave that EVERYONE can hear) "Are you sure you want to be eating that?" Yeah I'm sure. I didn't say anything when you were eating a cheeseburger and fries while I had a Lean Cuisine. So lay off.

Do I Know that Girl? Oh Crap, I Do!

My friends Mojito Maven (Double M) and Sweet N' Lo (SNL) are always telling me that I must blog about my experiences with online dating because some of them I admit, are downright hilarious. To be candid, I do in fact subscribe to an online dating service known as Eharmony (yes, as in, "this will be an everlasting love for me . . . "). Well I would have loved to start off my first Eharmony post talking about some guy that I went on a date with, but instead must tell you about the most unusual situation which I encountered tonight.

I logged on to Eharmony to view my most recent matches. After clicking on a few guys, I found myself staring at Jason's profile. As I always do when I evaluate a prospect, I click to the pictures first, and there . . . staring right back at me, was Jason and . . . do I know that girl? Oh crap, I do! Oh sorry, I got sidetracked by my own shock but have now recovered. Staring back at me was a girl whom I do not care for one tiny bit. I would not say that I despise this girl, because let's face it, I do not know her well and do not often find myself in social situations where I am subjected to her annoying "look at me" antics and exclamations of "ooooohhhh, my God, I absolutely can-NOT get drunk tonight because I didn't even get home until 4am this morning" (this of course being yelled at full volume while double-fisting a couple of cocktails.) BTW-Yes, I realize the irony of my last statement juxtaposed with the fact that my pen name is symbolic of a wonderful blend of vodka and a splash of apple or other fruity mix. But, no, I don't despise her because I feel sorry for her, and instead of letting her craziness get to me, I merely try to avoid her. However, THAT apparently is harder to do than I originally thought because now she has invaded my Eharmony account by being BFF enough with one of my Matches to warrant a picture on his profile!!!! It may be illegal in the United States, but not in the Courtroom of Princess Tartini-I declare that Jason is guilty by association! Match is CLOSED.

Deep breath.

Now that I think about this situation, it has occurred to me that this is the perfect segway into my next Eharmony post, which will occur next week, where I detail out the top seven types of photos that SHOULD NOT be used as profile pics on an online dating site. HINT: Picture with you and another girl who is NOT your sister or your MILF is one of those seven types! Also, picture with you and a drama queen of a girl who is recognizable by potential Match is also a definite NO. Please keep on the look out for another Eharmony post where I will explain in great detail that yes, a picture can be worth 1,000 words.

Questions for my Dear Readers:
1) Have you ever been on a dating site and recognized someone in the picture that your Match had posted? Were you like, "hey, saw you on Dan's online profile . . . so you like camping and dogs too huh?"
2) Have you ever been an accessory person in a photo that someone has posted on a dating website? Were you even AWARE of this?

Respectfully,
Princess Tartini

That's Not My Name

They call me Sweet N' Lo. Well, truth be told no one really ever calls me that, but it has become my pen name, so I embrace it with open arms. While my love for "the pink stuff" is an open addiction, I never knew it was observed by others until Princess Tartini (PT) and Mojito Maven (MM) suggested the name. Thanks girls.
I am happily married, currently kid-free (although the pressure is mounting), and on the downhill slide to 30. I've lived all over the US, dream of living abroad, and call Texas "home".
In this blog, PT will share the adventures of the dating scene and I will provide a view of what all this dating leads up to...marriage. You can also be sure there will be plenty of entries about our everyday lives, thoughts, and the interesting people we encounter.

How Should I Introduce Myself?

The way that someone introduces themselves has a lot to do with what sort of mood they are in. For example, I just finished watching a rerun of the last episode of Friends, so of course, I am feeling more solemn than fun, mostly due to the fact that I just lost six of my closest friends in a 30 minute season finale. Very sad.

With that, let me begin. My name is Princess Tartini, PT for short. You may have read about me on my friend Mojito Maven’s (Double M’s) blog, makemineamojito.com. Double M, my other good friend Sweet N’ Lo (SNL) who will co-write this blog with me, and I have been friends for about 3 years now and owe our deep friendship to Company XX, where we all work.

I live in Allen, TX with my dog J-Dog, who is a continual source of goofy laughs for me. I am 26, single, and attempting to date via Eharmony . . . I will have much to say about this subject in the future. Double M tells me that my tales of profile pics gone bad, office horror stories, and other happenings that “funny” stars like Raymond and Bill Engvall get paid the big bucks to tell about are worth publishing on the WWW. That's it for now, I'll be in touch!